There is something mystical about peoples’ eyes. The old phrase, “the eyes are like windows to the soul” rings true if we actually look closely enough.
Babies’ eyes and the eyes of young children are especially pure; the world has had a lot less of an opportunity to tarnish them with its theologies, its fears, and its controversies. Part of what makes them beautiful is that they are always looking up. They are curious, wondering. Looking to those taller than them, they are soaking everything in. What a responsibility we have.
Is there a way we can harness that pure curiosity, that beauty lying within the eyes of a wondering child? It seems to be there one day and gone the next. I believe wholeheartedly that one way we as adults can slowly pollute this is by “telling” more than we are “asking.” Children have to believe that they can discover things on their own. If we are always giving them the answers to their questions, will they give up searching? Will the questions slowly die away?
If “curiosity is the key to learning,” as I’ve heard time and time again, how is it that so often we give answer after answer, feeling as though we are giving our best to them through our words and resolutions. I write this because I need this reminder. We as adults have to feel comfortable saying “I wonder about that too.” Or “I don’t know. Let’s discover this together.” Grouping, ordering, finding connections, and relating things to our own personal experience are the primary ways our brains make sense of things. For a young child, they NEED experiences to make sense of what is happening around them in their little worlds. The next experience, or discovery, will have the context of the previous experience or discovery to build upon. This has to be vital for each and every little mind, no matter the age, race, gender, or cognitive ability.
Only through relating and connecting can they make things real. If we give, give, give rather than promote discovery through their own personal experience and endeavors, we rob them of what they desperately need to grow.
How tainted our view can be. We feel that by just giving a little more, telling them a few more answers, putting their shoes on or cleaning up their dishes one more time, we are helping them. There is a time and place for each of these things, yes, but even with good intentions and a loving heart, we can over-give to the point of detriment. We will have taken away that many opportunities for discovery, knowledge building, and self-assurance.
Please know that I do not speak from a place of expertise on this. I am not a parent yet. I have been teaching for several years now, but I actually come from a place of major fault in this area. I am a self-proclaimed people-pleaser. I love children and want them to love me back. Sometimes giving children the power to discover means doing things they don’t want you to do. Stepping away so that they can grow on their own is difficult and so very counter-intuitive.
It is not coincidental that our God, in His authority and omniscient love, does the same thing to us. And we hate it. From our view, He steps away, leaving us to seemingly fend for ourselves in the most difficult of circumstances. We wonder where He has gone and why He has abandoned us to navigate the stormy waters in a boat that we don’t feel trained to sail. He, as our Father who is infinitely greater than this world, sees us and knows exactly where we are. More than us to our children, he sees our hearts and our very thoughts, intentions, and longings. He understands us in an intimate way, and ultimately knows what is best. We can trust in that, because of who He is. He’s a good dad. He knows when to come close and when to lovingly step away, all to serve His Kingdom’s purposes and make us into the woman or man that He’s created us to be. From the beginning of time, he knew who you would become and is taking you there one day at a time. Some of those days, he has to let us discover some things on our own accord.
Just as a young child looks up in curiosity, I believe that without a doubt, our heavenly Dad takes great joy in seeing our own wondering eyes, no matter our age or life circumstance. He might be prompting us to search for answers; if this is the case, there is no better place to look than up. Could we model this for our precious children, too? They could see us searching for Him and know that they need to look past us and toward our perfect Father, who is the all-knowing, all-wise and good teacher. Let’s keep our eyes toward Him: wondering, curiously trusting that each and every trial brings us toward the ultimate fulfillment of ourselves in Him.
9 And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, 10 so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, 11 filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.
Philippians 1:9-11
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